Star Wars! Episode SUCK!

my interpretation? :p


So yah. Star wars. Here we go again! I have one thing to say at this juncture. FINALLY IT'S FUCKING OVER WITH!!! Now I can go back to my life. Yeah! It's over! No more movies from that crappy guy George Lucas. With apology's to everyone, I think the title up there in the picture pretty much sums it up for me. So let me interpret what I noticed about the movie!

One. It sucks big bad bantha balls!

Two. George lucas should have one finger cut off as punishment for every scene that was directed poorly. Which is all of them except two. Just two! (The scene when he becomes Darth Vader is awesome, and the scene where he goes off to kill everyone in the temple is awesome. I like the music there. Nicely done.) Oh yah, but when we run out of fingers, we should start on his toes. After that, one nice square inch of skin shall be taken. After that, we just put leaches all over him to simulate what it might actually feel like if we threw him to the Sarlac pit monster. Of course, we would have to continually give him blood from a machine, but i think if everyone pitched in there would be enough pissed off people to make him survive for a thousand years.

ok, so i really didnt have any interpretations, but lets just continue on with random venting.

Three. Yoda. Ok common! Why no puppet? Why do we have to look at that fake cg shit when in close ups they could have used a puppet to properly throw off the correct shadows? AND why does he turn every line around? It's just so awkward. In Empire, yoda was able to talk normally sometimes which made his zen way of talking more believable. And should Yoda and chewie get a room or something? WHAT THE HELL WAS CHEWIE DOING IN THIS MOVIE??? IT's like whenever the people in Star Trek travel back in time and see a younger crewmate who is only 20, because you know, Vulcans live for 250 years or something. But still! AT LEAST there was a tangable reason for... ohh wait, I don't care anymore.

Four. One thing that George Lucas needs so badly to learn is the art of segue. Or he needs to hire a really good editor. But honestly, i am so out of care it just does not matter.

Five. What was the deal with that one scene with him and the emperor. It was such a cool scene until they decided to enhance megaphone style the emperors voice. WTF?

Six. Sorry but that General Grevious thing? That was by far the worst CGI acting I have ever seen in my adult life. No wait. Jar jar is the number one thing. No wait, Yoda is number one. No wait! That half-assed Jabba the Hut from the first Star Wars is number one. No... that flying bug taxi driver thing is number one. Wait! ALL the stormtpoopers. No, or was it all the Gungans?

Seven. Did anyone else think about Route 66 after the emporer needed to say that more than once?

Eight. Is it just me or did anyone else almost bust a gut when Vader broke out of his bed? For some reason Frankenstien invades my thoughts on that one.

Nine. Ok. Anakins decent into Vader was this. Anakin has bad dream. Anakin asks for help. Anakin get's it sort of but it's from a bad guy so he decides to do the right thing and turns in the bad guy. Anakin then kills Sam Jackson to protect the bad guy. Then two seconds later kneels to the bad guy and then five minutes later kills kids. Anakin then proceeds to kill everyone. All because of a bad dream. This is supposed to explaine how the most evil man in the galaxy comes about? I'm sorry, but i am just not convinced at all.

Rah. I went to the draft house thanks to a hot tip from Kelly and got some people in costume. This was a couple of hours ago. If i were to take a picture of the same people now... well do you really think they will be smiling?